like so many other kossacks now are struggling - the gimp wrote this week of a very dark place. i, too, know that place well.
for the first election ever, i am deleting emails without reading because even the three dollars being asked are outside what i can do.
i have to move. i can no longer afford my little cottage - it is five hundred more per month than i take in on social security and my landlords (who are wonderful) can no longer wait for my mom's estate to settle. the reason why it hasn't yet is a totally different, sad story. one day i'll share that one, but it will not happen for some time to come and without much sorrow and loss. so, in the immediate now, i am facing, once again, being without permanent walls i can call my own. i had someone who offered temporary shelter but today that fell through. i have another friend who has offered to hold my things, but for now, i will be rudderless.
adding to the mix, on oct. 10, the docs have scheduled my hand surgery to replace two knuckles in my left hand that no longer bend. if i want to be able to remain self sufficient, this surgery and the future one on my right hand is a necessity. that is the one thing about being below the poverty level right now, i am eligible for coverage under medicare and medicaid without a co-pay (otherwise this surgery would not be possible). now i'm facing canceling my surgery and looking at getting my little motor home smogged and moving into it. even moving into the rv still isn't cheap - the lowest rv space rental is almost as much as an apartment (to keep out the "riff raff" IF they will even take an older motor home). in this area, the local communities have outlawed parking overnight to prevent people in motorhomes from sleeping in their vehicles - so, this option isn't a good one.
if you've stuck with me so far, there's more...